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Posted 4 months ago
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Posted 4 months ago
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Posted 4 months ago
Well I was hunting for the auditions but l;ooks like i missed them, oh well maybe another time. Anyway I am 19 from London living in Brighton. When I was 14 I left home to sofa surf around, was always a outcast at school. When I turned 16 I moved into a flat in south london with a DJ, got into a relationship with a girl 10 years older then me and soon my life revolved around going to clubs (ah fake i.d's, got to love them) and getting off my face. Legally I wont go into that part of my past in londons underground club scene. Many may have heard of clubs such as 'Slimelight' 'Studio 11' 'madame jo jos' 'synergy project'. They were some of my regular haunts.
I was the baby of my friends, the average age of which was 26yrs. We were part of the alternatives. Think of camden town, only not the pretentious emos who infect it, i'd be sitting on the lock drinking GHB with the punks throwing abuse at the scene kids.
Ahhh, important, the ex girlfriend. (if you hadnt guessed ither I am gay). We explored the fetish scene e.g 'Torture Garden' and club life. I loved her with all my heart, in return she fucked mine up. It was a very mentally and physically abusive relationship. To this day I cant let anyone be close to me. When I eventually ended it with her I overdosed on K in a club. I went to the loo to rack up, all of the powder fell onto the surface. 'Why not, now noone cares.' I thought before taking it. Three hours later I was lying in my friends arms with people surrounding me, i'd K holed at the top of a flight of stairs and fallen. It sounds messed up but that moment made me realise people did actually care about me.
I was a huge K head, things went bad, soon I was 17yrs weighing 6 stone and ended up sectioned. In hindsight I am amazed I lived to see my 19th birthday.
Just before my 18th I had somewhat of an apifany. Packed up my stuff and moved to Brighton to re-kindle my dreams of becoming a film maker. It took alot kicking most drugs and leaving the old group of friends. One of the hardest but best things I ever did. It saved my life. Enrolling back to collage, getting a new flat and making new friends. Ironically my new group of friends could have been pulled directly from Skins, all more around my age but not seeming to quite have that maturity to partying like the londoners.
Still I'm spending weekends getting wasted at housepartys and clubs however have a clear goal to my life now. Before I didnt care if I O.D'd, spent my life in the gutter. Some of the things I did back then I cringe at now. While I still enjoy getting wrecked i'm keeping it in moderation. I have a dream and i'm not going to throw it away anymore. Still, no regrets for the past. I like to think it taught me alot.
Ok well thats me in a basic nutshell. Prommise no more long posts! Just summing up the last three years so you ghet where i am coming from. While most grow up living with parents not appriciating what they have, i threw it all away to live the party lifestyle some dream of. And, as in Skins, it has a real dark side. Only in reality people actually die, people get hurt. There is no pause or rewind, you cant just turn it off. You have to keep moving forwards, follow your feet and make a life for yourself. You only get one chance.
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